Saying good bye to a new-old friend.
Funeral this afternoon, Mel, my neighbor of 21 years died. Wednesday am. Kinda wrecked a few plans we had, like playing cards, grilling steaks, going to gun shows together.
That's where it started ... we'd known each other as 'neighbors' for 15 or so years, he was the 'community reporter' - if something was going on within a 3 mile radius, Mel was the best person to 'get the low down'. He stuck his 84yr old nose into everything. We really limited our contact with him, but, he seemed to know a lot about us from the end-of-the-driveway... kinda annoying! One day we caught his 50'ish daughter feeding something to our cows ... apparently it had been going on a week, thankfully it was just corn.
How it started, maybe it was my 88yr old FIL visiting about 4-5 years ago, we got on the subject of 'reloading' rifle & pistol - knowing both did that, I called over, we went over ... and for the next 3 hours, got the grand tour, watched Mel reload ... one at a time... on his +50 year old, single stage press. The newest thing in his 'reloading room' was the 25 year old door knob... everything he had was really old.
Mel was an Armorer in the Army, between Korea and Vietnam. Once he got started reloading, he just kept it up, 50 rounds here, 100 rounds there - custom loads for friends, and testing them for consistency & accuracy on his 200 yard 'range' - the hay field. He'd tool out to an old Tobacco barn, all shot full of holes on one side, staple or hang a couple of paper targets - and come roaring back on his little 4-wheelier. Setting up on the bench inside the garage, take a few shots, and race back out to look at grouping. No chronograph to measure velocity (bullet speed), nothing electronic in his operation. It was his way he'd been reloading 60 years or more, it worked.
My Father-in-law, asked me one day, maybe 5 years ago, how "Mel was getting along" ... so I gave him a call. Once we got past all the meds, aches & pains of aging, he mentioned sitting around all day in front of the TV. That wasn't good... My wife and I were gonna do something.
We decided, Wife and I, instead of going to gun shows alone, together, we'd invite Mel and his wife along - after overcoming the initial resistance & multiple excuses... he relented and joined us. We knew he needed the exercise, why not..? We walked around, and Mel started sharing his Army stories, reloading, old army guns & his typical lore of his age. On the 2hr ride ride home - the guy wouldn't stop talking! Finally, at his doorstep, "When are we going again...?" That's how it all got started. The phone calls became more regular, daily in fact - if I forgot to call, he'd call and harass me for 'sleeping in' or accuse me of 'saying up too late!' - neither had a bit of truth to it, we both got up about 6:30am, a habit of work.
Of course, being OUR GUEST for these Saturday 'road trips' - we paid it all, he was well worth the conversation & joking around. I'd find him 'jawing' with some 'young buck' - "Don't believe a damn thing that old coot tells ya! He's been lying longer than we've been alive!", Mel would flash a smile, "He's my chauffeur!" and resume his well worn tale... I'd heard pretty much all of those stories ... at least a dozen times. Sometimes interrupting, "Did he tell you the part about...?" or "Wait till he gets to the good part!" - and walk away, leaving the kid transfixed on some stupid rabbit trail of a story. Mel had managed to 'shoot off' the index finger on his right hand, his finger over the muzzle of a loaded 12 gauge shot gun, he bumped, it went off - and the whole finger, from the palm out - gone.
Naturally waving at someone ... had that certain risk of misinterpretation, missing that finger - he'd use the left hand instead. But... when it came to telling stories, that right hand was like a cop directing traffic, or Conductor waving at an Orchestra - waving and pointing, it alone got your attention - and he knew it... probably took advantage of the audience it too! Mel's wife, not a bit jealous, said it was good for him to get out, stretch his legs & meet new people. We were just glad to have him along, for the conversation, if nothing else.
Funny thing was... Mel and I came from the same industry, Communications, but a generation apart. His was from the 'copper era' - I was 'optical carrier' era. He felt like time & technology had passed him by, the good old days were well past him. One day, he mentioned his hatred of computers and fiber stuff - we got going on it, and when I reminded him, everything we do today, is built on the same technology he worked with decades earlier... He said he'd never understand it, till we discussed analogue to digital conversion, T-1 transport, TDM, all the signaling / handshaking, DWDM, wave frequencies/colors - "Hey, they did all that with what we had!" Yup... we just use fiber, instead of copper. We were fast friends after that, the generational had been bridged - he was proud to know ... this present generation was standing on his shoulders, his work wasn't cast aside, but was the groundwork, the foundation for us today. I could see the Pride in his eyes.
A few weeks ago, another gun show... but, we were having furnace trouble (no money), and he wasn't feeling good. Hadn't been but once, out to the reloading room, just wasn't feeling good. I talked to him last Saturday morning, he could barely speak, "Hey, buddy, you need to see a doctor..." Yeah, that's all I've been doing lately! in a long, slow labored breath. Barely 5 minutes, we hung up. We'd been through this before, I figured this was a bad one - but, he's 4 years younger than my FIL, who's pretty active, meh... he'd probably come around, smiling & telling tales, again. Sunday ... ring, no answer. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday morning calls, with no return call, rang unanswered. Mel's wife called later Wednesday, she'd just come home from the hospital, Mel went in Saturday night, passed away Wednesday morning.
Be seeing the empty shell of Mel this afternoon, to sort of say, Good bye... more for me, than for him. But, I'll see him again, a new body, full of energy - except we probably will be too busy talking about Jesus to waste time with the tall tales of our youth. And, with that right Index finger back, he ain't gonna have the same mesmerizing wave of the hand... everything's gonna be alright. Bye Mel, at least for now.