Thank God, He loves me.
A lot going on this week, daughter visiting, funeral for neighbor / friend, drama with mom in assisted living & dad... All related to, People questioning, asking why & what's going on.
Neighbor's wife a bit 'testy' over anyone offering to help, if they could, checking up on her welfare - now that was unexpected...
Daughter thinking about marriage, who knows ...
Dad really mulling over in his mind, if he did the right thing, putting mom into a nursing home - that's been the most troubling, I think. He's pretty upset about spending $6700 a month, says it won't last long. He'd already taken care of her in a dementia state for 2 years, watched her really decline to the mentality of a 3 year old, cleaned up a lot of messes & did everything in the house. I feel sorry for him. He complains all the memories they had together, she can't remember anything...can't even carry on a conversation with her.
'Did I do the right thing last month? She asks, 'when are we going home?' - which is at her most coherent moment, also seldom. Sister-in-law (drama queen type), has said on several occasions, a nursing home would kill mom, it's a death sentence, all they do is starve & kill people.... said that around dad, with big tears in her eyes - and follows it up with she'd take care of her, if she was paid for it.... but can't seem to manage her own family affairs (sickening). But, dad (FIL) wonders if he really did the right thing.
At the nursing home, he said she's a lot worse off than most of the other residents. At least she can still walk a few feet to the bathroom, but is more or less wheelchair bound, and frequently falls down, falls out of bed, etc., without breaking anything. She can't remember to hit the nurse call button to get back up. Dad thought she could learn a card game UNO ... nope. A year ago, she could work crossword puzzles, play dominos, a few card games, but then another fall - and she declined to a lower plateau ... like stepping down a ladder, with a pause on each step. It's gut wrenching to see it happening.
As tired as you are, if you've read this far - so am I.
'Dad... I want you to pause and think about the last 2 years, ask yourself, where is God's leading, where's the hands of God in this...? (He can't imagine this kind of distress in any marriage). I reminded him, his first responsibly was 'his girl', his WIFE of 65 years, forget the kids, don't even consider inheritance, you gotta take care of your wife, best you can.
a. God saw this ahead of time, and prepared you financially, maybe not for luxury living, but adequate for your situation. Thank God for enabling you to do so!
b. You've done a wonderful job the last 2 years, held up under tremendous strain by yourself, with occasional nurse 'wellness checks', hospital stays, and taking on all the household chores with no help - Thank God for the strength to endure and keep your cool when this stranger (your wife), turned abusive / violent and beat on you. That's patience you never experienced before.
c. Your family has gathered around you, to encourage and support you, WHY do you think I've been calling & chatting with you daily? (he said he really appreciated that) And those memories you wanted to share with her, you've been sharing with me, talking about all the construction jobs, places, people we've been to or whatever in our lives...? (Didn't make the connection) Did you realize God told me, this guy needs help, I'm sending his SIL (son-in-law) to do what the rest of his family is too busy to do - talk to him, keep his mind straight, laugh with him, etc... and remind him, God didn't abandon him.
Couple of years ago, I starting realizing ... there is so much to pray for, so many people distressed, some for physical needs, many more out of uncertainty - is God still there...? We see ourselves, situations, and forget God loves us... beyond our momentary distresses.
Jesus Christ willingly died on a cross, as payment for our sins. He wants to set us free & fellowship with us, welcome us into His grand, eternal presence, like a joint heir... a friend, a close friend, like a brother/sister. He just loves us. The sin which kept us apart from Him, He bridged on the cross. We see the momentary problems as mountains, forgetting eternity is forever, or at the least, losing sight of the idea of 'eternity'. The big Picture - is Jesus Christ ... a matter of perspective, easily forgotten when we stub our toe, God wasn't the one who forgot, it was us ... forgetting to open our eyes and see, He is executing His will in our lives, not to punish, but to call us, 'come a little closer, let's talk, I got this one'.
God has been very good to me, because God is very Good! (and thank God, He loves me & you!)