Bought the Farm - now what..?
May of 2003, we bought the 27 acre farm. Reminded us so much of where we grew up in SW Wisconsin, in the hills, minus the breathtaking views.. miles and miles of landscape. We see pine trees here, practically every direction, Pine, Spruce, a Ranch House in the middle of it all, atop a slight ridge. It'd had been a a Tobacco farm, now a hay field for the neighbor. The week before we closed, yep, the neighbor showed up and plowed half of the open field - 5 acres of furrows, not disked, just turned it all over... in the month of MAY, like a 'welcome to the neighborhood! sucker!' He went on to complain, the FREE HAY neighbor's field 'always broke something if his' - like that was fair payment. ...no, not a good way to introduce yourself.
Two owners before us, was a family who had hunted for decades ... and expected the farm house which sat vacant for 2 years ... to remain vacant, not chasing 'his deer' away, by living here.... We got the introduction, a month before Deer Season, the eldest son, was illegally shining for Deer, lit up the house (we hadn't installed curtains yet), and of course the kids were a bit.. alarmed. Like any Dad would, I went for the 20 million candle power spot light, lit up the inside of his truck, he hit the gas, roars up our driveway - looking for trouble. Walking out to meet this stranger, gun in my backside, we meet halfway up to the house, where wife is holding a shot gun. He starts in on me, his 'rights' - which were dissolved the moment he entered our driveway, to the farm he didn't buy, but could have inherited.
On the seat of the truck, his ready for use, rifle - deliberately in a position to use if he felt the urge...? 'You can leave here, or I can call the Sheriff. If you wish to hunt here, written permission is required by the state of Virginia.' Maybe he was surprised I was 6'3", looking pretty 'fit' & calm, or I like to think, he saw the steam rising slowly out of my wife's ears from 100' away, 'Oh crap, what's that lady capable of ...!?' - slowly backed his truck down the 200' of driveway, as I turned around, he could clearly see my handgun on my backside. "welcome back, poacher!', those days are ending.
A couple of weeks later, 3am, a loud BOOM echoed, and it wasn't the actual echo, but a gun facing our direction. The next day, there's a gut pile, and a Red light lense at the end of the driveway... and a hole through the siding, but not actually into the boys' room. Sheriff got a phone call. OK, we'll look into it. Never heard a word from the Sheriff again... One of my other neighbors, and non-farmer, retired from Verizon, gave me the history.
A bunch of guys, working 2nd shift had a 'night hunting club' going after work. One of them would 'pop a Deer' while being 'shined' (spotlighted), and they'd just cut the back-straps & part of the hind quarters out, leaving the rest for the Buzzards. There's a lot of Buzzards around here, heh, they'd kept busy. Apparently the Sheriff was trying to meet them, preferably guns & lights in hand.
It was one of those nights, dark, cloud cover, moonless, really still. Owls were out, Hooting occasionally, just peaceful & quiet. I'd seen this little matt black pickup truck a few times during the day - looked like someone hit it with a dozen cans of Flat Black Rustoleum spray paint. Very quiet truck, if you weren't looking, you'd miss it driving by. At night, it had no tail lights, even the headlights we aimed 'down' or taped off, like a WW2 jeep to hide from bombing raids. No Sherlock Homes deductive logic needed... we figured that was one of the guys.
Then a loud BOOM! Why turn the lights on in the house & wake up the kids? Spotlight in hand, lighting up the woods, 400' away... slowly scanning the road - nothing! Did they skedaddle that fast? Wow... these guys are sneaky. But... Mel, the neighbor... was sneaker. The truck was resting less than 100' from his back door... with schrader valve removal tool in hand, he pulled all 4 valve stems out of the tires. If they wanted to leave, it'd be on rims. Would have loved to witness that!
The Sheriff showed up 20 minutes after the shot-in-the-dark ... using expert tracking skills, followed the rim marks on the roadway and eventually bit of tires giving way to tread and the whole tire. There the quarry was, one rim on the side of the road, he'd gotten stuck trying to ascent the tiny hill about a mile away. Truck was abandoned. No complaints filed, the guys ratted each out out, and lost hunting rights in Virginia for a decade. The truck never came down this road again. Heh, neither did that eldest son looking for a place to hunt Deer.... wonder why..? Did hear of a group of a dozen guys who eventually pleaded guilt of poaching, paid a fine, were made a public humiliation - not for poaching, but leaving/wasting so much of the Deer!
Yep, welcome to the neighborhood... for awhile there, occasionally I'd step outside, clear of the porch, shot gun in hand, about midnight... and rapid fire, empty that semi-auto, fast as I could. A reminder, 'we live here, don't bother us, we might just be crazier than your PTSD. I got called "bubba" in the local store one day, 'Oh, it's Bill, but that's OK.' smiled as I checked out. That was reassurance, we'd become a part of the community.